Out of Context = not funny so much as weird

Occasionally at work I come up with a brilliant idea, something I'm sure will make a great story. Sometimes it comes when I'm looking up copyright laws on recipes, directions for how to make origami pumpkins, or images of Soviet katyushas (my new favorite weapon of war, mostly because they spelled it with a y and not ie. Everyone spells it ie). In the moment, they are brilliant ideas, short stories that are sure to impress. I write them down in the Hello Kitty notepad I keep in my purse. Later, when I've forgotten what prompted me to write these things down, I'm less pleased by the ideas.

Recent examples:

Hot dogs and tuna

Say 'I do' to cookies

T-shirt with pinata that says 'I'd hit that' (okay, this one's still funny)*

* when I went searching for this shirt, I also found the following...

I'm putting an order in for the last one.

And then my mom asked if he looked dangerous.

My first night went well. I have a poet--the fun, sexy type who probably also plays John Mayer songs on his guitar, not the sullen, I-hate-everyone type like Smith apparently has. I have a kid from southern Illinois who listens to Avenue Q. I have a kid who asked me to sign a sheet of paper at the end of class. I assumed it was some academic thing, letting me know he'd be missing a class or two because he was on the basketball team, but no. It was so I could verify he had been in class between the hours of 6 and 9:30. It was his work release form from the county jail. Nice.

Is it too late to resuscitate this blog? Probably. I should probably start a new one anyway. I had planned to. And come to think of it, I may have started one. Ach. Who knows.

I've missed my little blog. I've also missed Chad's blog and Matt's. But Matt's started up again, and so I have faith that I can too. I really do have plenty to say. It's just that I spend about 7 of 8 hours at work on a computer on any given day. Except today when a good 20 minutes was filled up by the introduction of our new CFO. I've never felt more like the star of an Office Space scene so much as I did today. Really, I was hoping for some cake at the end of the intros. But cake never came. Instead I refilled my green tea (I've been drinking green tea now, you know. Gave up coffee during the week and convinced myself the antioxidants have kept me from getting the office cold that went around) and got back to work putting together a book map. It's like a puzzle. How much text can go on this page? Do I need a horizontal or vertical photo? Will there be space for an extra fact? Do I have enough call out definitions? Why aren't there any images of General Paulus to use on page 9?

That's pretty much what I'm doing these days. When I have an extra ten minutes, I think about whether I'm going to have students write commentaries or reviews for their third paper. Sometimes I think about how good it would be to have Chipotle. And then I remember that I looked up the nutritional facts on their website and realized I'd be better off eating a Twinkie and a Snickers bar for lunch. They've got these health initiatives at work. You win stuff for drinking water, exercising, doing yoga on your lunch break (we have a studio and the company brings in an instructor).

There are eight books out there with my name on the CIP page. Soon there will be another seven. These I will have built from the ground up, not just finished up. And in another season, three will have my name on the cover. This pleases me, even if they will have no more than 1,000 of my words inside.