Now, I'm not asking for 20% here. Even though I would totally deserve it because as a waitress I kick ass, but I really don't expect too many people to shell out that much for someone to bring them wings and a couple refills. I don't even think I give 20%. But 15%? Generally, unless she/he is a complete moron and can't comprehend the difficult world of food service. Really people, when your total is $40 and I brought you countless refills and even put cherries in your Sprite and brought you appetizers and desserts, $2 is not enough. Do you realize that you have just given me a 5% tip? Do you understand that the government taxes me on 9% automatically, whether you give it to me or not? Therefore, by leaving me a 5% tip I have actually lost money by waiting on you? Not to mention that while I'm busting my ass to help you, the other server just got a table of businessmen, all drinking beer and eating wings, who will end up leaving her $20.
And thank you to the young guys in suits and ties who insisted that I reprint your ticket so you can have proof that you gave me a tip because your company pays for it and you want to "make sure I'm earning a living." Thank you for leaving my 9% even though your company is paying for it. I'm sure the folks in billing will be happy to know you're a cheap ass.

I need to finish my thesis and get a real job again. I need to do this very, very soon.

P.S. Old people, I like you. I enjoy your stories, honestly, and the way you ask for warm water and jelly (free tea), but you need to leave a tip. Or go to McDonalds.