Fifteen

1) Once, in first grade, I was wearing overalls and they fell into the toilet while I was peeing. I had to pull them up, walk to the nurse's office, and call my mom to bring me new pants.

2) Once, in seventh grade, I, um, bled through my pants. I had to walk to the nurse's office and call my mom to bring me new pants. I've had issues with "monthly things" ever since.

3) I missed two months of school in seventh grade, claiming I had headaches. I missed the entire art unit. The school threatened to take my parents to court if I didn't go back. They brought me one day, kicking and crying.
3a) This lead to an eigth-grade prescription for Prozac.

4) I make less in a month than I did when I was fifteen and washing dishes for a preschool program.

5) The first time I threw up after drinking too much, I told everyone it tasted like ravioli. I hadn't eaten ravioli.

6) I still don't have my thesis finished. I fear I'll never get it done.

7) When my grandma died, every night for the following week I dreamed that someone in my family was killed.

8) Once I pushed my brother down the stairs while he was holding a glass of milk. The glass broke.

9) I have three stitches just below my nose. I was hit with a wooden swing we had hooked up to a spring.

10) I sold my 1973 Volkswagon Beetle to buy a computer. The computer didn't work two years later.

11) When I was younger I wanted to be a fashion designer.

12) The average person farts fourteen times a day. I believe I'm well above average.

13) The boy used to be afraid of Mary Poppins. I used to be afraid of the scene in Pee-Wee's Big Adventure when he's riding his bike in the dark alley...or something like that. I was also afraid of 9 to 5 and Gremlins.

14) I had a crush on Boy George in high school. I bought his poster on Ebay.

15) I can play hackey-sack in platforms.