It's time for a job. Really. The things I've done/offered to do in the last month for money is sad. I've taken to babysitting and mowing lawns. Things I would have gladly done when I was, oh, fourteen. I had a job that paid more when I was fifteen. That's right, I washed dishes at my mom's preschool. I even had a sexy hairnet.

I'm hearing from the boy that everyone has to pay their dues. That maybe I should just get a job somewhere, even if it sucks and I have it, because this may lead to other jobs. He likes to send me forwards that describe all the jobs celebrities had before they were celebrities--ditch digging, mortician assistant, towel boy, etc. But I have paid my dues already. Honest. I used to spend my entire summer babysitting for four kids--when I was twelve! I washed dishes. I worked at a paper correlating plant. That was a blast because I got to wake up at 4am to endure hundreds of paper cuts as I folded and sorted paper. I worked at a greenhouse watering plants for hours at a time in a million degree weather. I thought I was getting a job at another greenhouse that turned out to be a tree factory. I would fill tree orders. Run around looking for a dogwood or a birch or a canadian elm for eight hours a day. That would make anyone want to kill themselves. I was a dishwasher for two summers. I was a phone operator/fitting room attendant/bitch at Target. I was an office assistant for four summers at a migrant school, enduring a new boss each year who knew less than I did about the place. I was a server at Happy Chef--the place where folks go when they decide to leave the trailer park for a fancy dinner out. Oh yes, and I endured all kinds of thoughtful remarks as I served beer to drunk boys at the strip club. Hmm..then there was last summer when I became typing/homework bitch for the ex-pastor in a wheelchair. He tried to get me to do his homework. He would think at about 3 words a minutes. We took 3 months to finish a single 10 page paper. I never wanted to shoot myself more. And then I dealt with 18 year olds who didn't understand what "mandatory attendance policy" and "no late work" meant. So yes, yes, I have paid my dues. Now it's time for a job where people appreciate me and let me use the education I will be paying off for the next 20-30 years. I want someone who gets me coffee when I want it. I want health insurance and, I dare say it, dental insurance. I want paid holidays and vacation time. I want an hour lunch and a comfy chair. I want money. Real money. Maybe even a 401K. I want to sell out to the corporate world if it means profit sharing and company picnics. So...who wants me?