I saw the boy's jaw drop when I heard her say
"the beer is complimentary." This after seeing a Shamu show that was ridiculously better than the Cinderella singing showtunes that greeted us at Disney the day before. Certainly any themepark sponsored by a major beer company is going to be better than a land of flat boatrides with singing puppets.
Highlights? Walking through the Clydesdale stables and seeing one very "excited" horse. This is the kind of child friendly scene I expected to see at Disney--you know, how they manage to sneak sex into every scene. "Why, we can't help that the horse's wiener is larger than your three year old and about to entangle him." Hung like a horse is given new meaning when you're referring to Clydesdales and not those wussy ponies that walk in circles at county fairs.
I went on a roller coaster similar to the Batman ride of Chicago Six Flags. No bottom, legs flying above your head on the many upside down flips. Had the ride been a minute longer my free beer would have been making a comeback. Seriously, it was that great.
Going to beer school and becoming an honorary beermaster. I have the diploma with my name on it to prove it. It's getting hung in a nice frame next to that Masters degree. My mom will be proud. I also got to sample mango beer, tropical fruit beer, and lemon limey beer. All were not good.
All in all it was a good day and we were itching to be back at the hotel. There was leftover Dominos in the fridge and a couple Bud Lites (yeah, I know). While waiting we made friends with some other folks from the hotel--a mom with three girls. We told her about our previous bus experience and prayed we wouldn't have the same guy. No such luck. He pulled up and announced the bus number. Being that our morning driver did not give us a bus number, we were not sure it was our bus. We asked. "No, not your bus" he declared. We waited. Our new friend wanted us to ask one more time. The guy already hated us. We made her do it. Needless to say, this was in fact our bus. We got on and waited as he yelled at a poor tourist who mistook this bus as the one he was supposed to be on. Our driver let him know how incorrect he was. Finally we got going. However, we were not headed back to the hotel. The mother, the boy, and I were getting nervous. THen we realized we were headed to Universal Studios for another pickup. Being that we had decided not to miss our stop this time, we sat towards the front and therefore had great seats for what was about to happen. The driver starts pulling into his designated spot. There are people sitting on the curb in front of said spot. The driver recognizes this and curses them. He pulls the bus into the spot. Though there was really no need to go to the very edge of the curb, the driver seemed to think this was important. He kept edging and edging. Soon we couldn't even see the folks sitting on the curb, though we knew they hadn't gotten up (in their defense, one was a larger woman who didn't appear like speed came easily to her). The bus driver stops literally no more than an inch from this woman. He stops the bus, gets off, and begins to yell at her. Now this is a large, black woman with an even larger feathered pink hat. She of course yells back. This goes on for awhile. The group realizes this is their bus. They get on. Then they get off. Then they get on again which makes for a very crowded bus. The driver is angry. He starts dropping people off at hotels. We've been on the bus approximately a half hour by this point. We get to a hotel, drop people off, and the driver realizes he can't go forward because there is a truck in the way. He gets off the bus and goes inside to yell at people. He gets back on the bus and attempts to back up the long driveway. This takes a couple tries. A few hotels later he drops off the woman with the pink hat. As she exits, the woman screams out that she is calling his boss and the police and that she was going to be sure he was fired. He says "Go ahead and call the police. I will wait right here." We had been on the bus for 45 minutes by this point. A guy in the back yells "No you won't." He then finds it important to get the support of the passengers. "You all saw what happened. She would not move." The nice mother from our hotel responds "It doesn't matter. Why don't you just drive." Her three year old chimes in: "Get going!!" I thought the guy was gonna flip. The mom reprimands her: "You don't speak to adults like that," but secretly we all agreed with the kid. A half block away we get to another hotel. There appears to be a very narrow turning radius. The driver backs up and tries again. Then backs up and tries again. Then backs up and tries again. We've been on the bus for an hour. We think about getting a cab. Driver makes it and thank God our stop was the next one. Nearly an hour and a half after first getting on the bus we are in our room eating pizza and drinking beer and deciding that we should call his boss too (we never do).
That was SeaWorld. Oh yeah, and there was this guy who totally looked like Santa. He had the full white beard (in summer, in Orlando), the hair, the tiny glasses, and a too-tight polo shirt in, you guessed it, red.
Stay tuned for: "The elephants in the room above me when I'm trying to work on my thesis"
and "A marathon of 'America's Next Top Model'"
Highlights? Walking through the Clydesdale stables and seeing one very "excited" horse. This is the kind of child friendly scene I expected to see at Disney--you know, how they manage to sneak sex into every scene. "Why, we can't help that the horse's wiener is larger than your three year old and about to entangle him." Hung like a horse is given new meaning when you're referring to Clydesdales and not those wussy ponies that walk in circles at county fairs.
I went on a roller coaster similar to the Batman ride of Chicago Six Flags. No bottom, legs flying above your head on the many upside down flips. Had the ride been a minute longer my free beer would have been making a comeback. Seriously, it was that great.
Going to beer school and becoming an honorary beermaster. I have the diploma with my name on it to prove it. It's getting hung in a nice frame next to that Masters degree. My mom will be proud. I also got to sample mango beer, tropical fruit beer, and lemon limey beer. All were not good.
All in all it was a good day and we were itching to be back at the hotel. There was leftover Dominos in the fridge and a couple Bud Lites (yeah, I know). While waiting we made friends with some other folks from the hotel--a mom with three girls. We told her about our previous bus experience and prayed we wouldn't have the same guy. No such luck. He pulled up and announced the bus number. Being that our morning driver did not give us a bus number, we were not sure it was our bus. We asked. "No, not your bus" he declared. We waited. Our new friend wanted us to ask one more time. The guy already hated us. We made her do it. Needless to say, this was in fact our bus. We got on and waited as he yelled at a poor tourist who mistook this bus as the one he was supposed to be on. Our driver let him know how incorrect he was. Finally we got going. However, we were not headed back to the hotel. The mother, the boy, and I were getting nervous. THen we realized we were headed to Universal Studios for another pickup. Being that we had decided not to miss our stop this time, we sat towards the front and therefore had great seats for what was about to happen. The driver starts pulling into his designated spot. There are people sitting on the curb in front of said spot. The driver recognizes this and curses them. He pulls the bus into the spot. Though there was really no need to go to the very edge of the curb, the driver seemed to think this was important. He kept edging and edging. Soon we couldn't even see the folks sitting on the curb, though we knew they hadn't gotten up (in their defense, one was a larger woman who didn't appear like speed came easily to her). The bus driver stops literally no more than an inch from this woman. He stops the bus, gets off, and begins to yell at her. Now this is a large, black woman with an even larger feathered pink hat. She of course yells back. This goes on for awhile. The group realizes this is their bus. They get on. Then they get off. Then they get on again which makes for a very crowded bus. The driver is angry. He starts dropping people off at hotels. We've been on the bus approximately a half hour by this point. We get to a hotel, drop people off, and the driver realizes he can't go forward because there is a truck in the way. He gets off the bus and goes inside to yell at people. He gets back on the bus and attempts to back up the long driveway. This takes a couple tries. A few hotels later he drops off the woman with the pink hat. As she exits, the woman screams out that she is calling his boss and the police and that she was going to be sure he was fired. He says "Go ahead and call the police. I will wait right here." We had been on the bus for 45 minutes by this point. A guy in the back yells "No you won't." He then finds it important to get the support of the passengers. "You all saw what happened. She would not move." The nice mother from our hotel responds "It doesn't matter. Why don't you just drive." Her three year old chimes in: "Get going!!" I thought the guy was gonna flip. The mom reprimands her: "You don't speak to adults like that," but secretly we all agreed with the kid. A half block away we get to another hotel. There appears to be a very narrow turning radius. The driver backs up and tries again. Then backs up and tries again. Then backs up and tries again. We've been on the bus for an hour. We think about getting a cab. Driver makes it and thank God our stop was the next one. Nearly an hour and a half after first getting on the bus we are in our room eating pizza and drinking beer and deciding that we should call his boss too (we never do).
That was SeaWorld. Oh yeah, and there was this guy who totally looked like Santa. He had the full white beard (in summer, in Orlando), the hair, the tiny glasses, and a too-tight polo shirt in, you guessed it, red.
Stay tuned for: "The elephants in the room above me when I'm trying to work on my thesis"
and "A marathon of 'America's Next Top Model'"
posted by KC in Katoland at 8:01 AM
2 Comments:
Glad to hear you got to the hotel fine. What a creep. I can't believe anyone would be so rude. Wow. Avoid that shuttle at all costs.
Bud Lite? Meh...
Post a Comment
<< Home