Who let the dogs out
I'm thinking I might need someone to let my puppy out this weekend. Just once, nothing fancy. He's a good dog. You let him out, he pees on whatever is taller than he is, and he's set for a few hours. However, here is my dilemma: Last time I asked a couple wonderful, lovely friends to do this simple task for me. This is what I found upon returning:
4 post-it notes with the following:
First post-it: Dear Katy: We were snooping in your pantry and frankly we're not surprised to find these items:
1. onions--for hotdish
2. condensed soup--see above
3. canned veggies--very MN
Second post-it:
4. pie filling (which I used to make them a tasty breakfast dessert with only a week later!)
5. gross beer (Grain Belt?? Even my dad likes it, and he knows classy beer)
6. French dressing--goes great on your "just lettuce!" which we thoughtfully left in the fridge
(This is where I want to let you know that the "just lettuce" was for tacos!! What kindof lettuce do you use for tacos? huh? That's what I thought)
7. salt-classic MN condiment (Now, which one of you doesn't have salt? Another point for me!)
Third post-it:
8. ketchup--for making "exotic" dishes like tacos or BBQ (Who the HELL puts ketchup on tacos? That's what I'd like to know)
We wished we'd brought the camera.
Oh yes, and Emerson's moose disturbed us--par. the brown stainage on its crotch. (He's a man with needs, what more can I say?)
Fourth post-it:
and just 'cause I feel like squandering Post-its, I will say: WHAT IT THIS? and THANKS FOR NOT LEAVING OUT YOUR HOMEMADE PORN. That is all, XOXO Xtina and Smith
(Note: The "WHAT IS THIS?" was a photo of Preston and the giant snow penis the boys built in front of the dorms so many years ago. Why we had it sitting out, I couldn't tell ya. As for the homemade porn, it's a darn good thing they didn't look in the other cupboards. HAHAHAHA!!
So, you see my dilemma. I think the dog is just going to have to go with me this weekend.
4 post-it notes with the following:
First post-it: Dear Katy: We were snooping in your pantry and frankly we're not surprised to find these items:
1. onions--for hotdish
2. condensed soup--see above
3. canned veggies--very MN
Second post-it:
4. pie filling (which I used to make them a tasty breakfast dessert with only a week later!)
5. gross beer (Grain Belt?? Even my dad likes it, and he knows classy beer)
6. French dressing--goes great on your "just lettuce!" which we thoughtfully left in the fridge
(This is where I want to let you know that the "just lettuce" was for tacos!! What kindof lettuce do you use for tacos? huh? That's what I thought)
7. salt-classic MN condiment (Now, which one of you doesn't have salt? Another point for me!)
Third post-it:
8. ketchup--for making "exotic" dishes like tacos or BBQ (Who the HELL puts ketchup on tacos? That's what I'd like to know)
We wished we'd brought the camera.
Oh yes, and Emerson's moose disturbed us--par. the brown stainage on its crotch. (He's a man with needs, what more can I say?)
Fourth post-it:
and just 'cause I feel like squandering Post-its, I will say: WHAT IT THIS? and THANKS FOR NOT LEAVING OUT YOUR HOMEMADE PORN. That is all, XOXO Xtina and Smith
(Note: The "WHAT IS THIS?" was a photo of Preston and the giant snow penis the boys built in front of the dorms so many years ago. Why we had it sitting out, I couldn't tell ya. As for the homemade porn, it's a darn good thing they didn't look in the other cupboards. HAHAHAHA!!
So, you see my dilemma. I think the dog is just going to have to go with me this weekend.
posted by KC in Katoland at 12:46 PM
1 Comments:
I TAKE FULL CREDIT FOR MY *HILARIOUS* POST-IT MESSAGES. I WAS OPERATING UNDER THE COMMONLY HELD ASSUMPTION THAT WHEN YOU RETURN FROM A LONG WEEKEND, YOU FIND YOURSELF WANTING TO DO NOTHING BUT UNPACK, READ SMARMY NOTES AND RESHELVE YOUR SUNDRIES.
ISN'T IT IRRITATING THAT THE CAPS-LOCK IS ON? JUST IMAGINE ME SHOUTING ALL OF THIS AT YOU.
BETTER YET, CALL ME AND I WILL.
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