SAD on Steroids

Yeah, that's pretty much how I felt yesterday when my SAD and my inability to handle stress collided. Afterall, I beat myself up enough for the things that aren't working out for me. I don't need another person to tell me how much I suck. Or what a husband is good for--especially when this person is herself was unable to keep a husband.

Do I waste time? Yes, of course. I'm not the type who can sit in front of a computer for twelve hours or stay up all night to get something finished. I've never been able to do that. I give myself mini breaks every hour. Sometimes I give myself a night off. I recognize that I have people here who won't be here in six months. I already know what it's like when friends graduate, find jobs, move away. I did this two years ago.

I also recognize that I am in my first year of marriage. Granted, it feels like we've been married for years, but at the same time I deserve to really enjoy this first real year together.

And I have a real shot at some teaching opportunities through SCC. So I spend time preparing for the class. Time that is supposed to be spent working on a paper. One paper. One paper that I hate.

I'm in a funk. I've let this weather, this paper, this advisor, this job get to me. I gotta change something.