Coming down from euphoria

Why is it that the UPS guy always comes right around the time you planned to shower? I waited around all day for the damn package and then I realized I had to shower; I couldn't stand my own smell anymore. So I thoughtfully left a note telling the UPS guy that I was in the garage and would not hear him and would he kindly leave my package on the steps. I signed it. It looked official. Of course, it was a computer for the boy's dad so I was already pretty sure the note would not work. If I missed the door, I missed the package. But, with note on door I hopped into the shower. I scrubbed and shampooed and shaved quickly so as not to miss the UPS guy. Having just stepped out of the shower and beginning to ponder what I should wear, I hear the dog barking. I knew the UPS guy was close. I ran into the bedroom. The doorbell rings. I debate answering the door in my towel as I frantically search for my bathrobe. The UPS guy knocks. I realize the bathrobe is nowhere to be found and that I wouldn't really want to wear a robe to the door anyway. It's no better than a towel. So a grab a slinky black dress from the closet knowing it slips on easily. As the knocking ceases I run down the steps, making a quick check that my boobs and/or ass are not hanging out anywhere. I laugh and say "I knew the note wouldn't work." He smiled at me with that "AHA! I caught you in the shower and wish you came down in your towel" look. He thinks to himself how his woman in shower radar needs a bit more tweaking because it gave me too much time to find a slinky dress. Ach.

Oh, and the euphoria. It's gone. I spent another day abandoning my school/teaching duties to wallow and convince myself that I need to play more spider solitaire. I sat on my couch and came dangerously close to weeping for my sorry life. I ate Pasta-roni and decided I was destined to be fat so I should stop fighting it. Then I ate chocolate. After the UPS incident I went to find real clothes, not the black slinky one that I only wear to funerals. I got angry because of the piles of dirty clothes everywhere. Angry that I have to wash them. That they refuse to go away on their own. I got angry because the only pair of pants I own at the moment that don't make me feel like a fat cow are dirty. I contemplated wearing them anyway. I realized I have done this the last 3 days. I contemplate doing laundry. I settle for a mountain dew and some quality time with my blog. I hate winter. I hate it being dark at 4pm. I hate going into school in the dark and leaving in the dark. Maybe it's time for Casey to start taking the crazy pills again. Or to start drinking more.